I moved to the bottom of Texas when I was 16. I thought things were going to be different. I thought things were going to turn out better. I was wrong. It was a new environment, but the people were the same, only now they were Mexican. I'd still get treated like shit and called nasty things, only this time in Spanish. A few times I was told to go back to where I came from, that a "Nazi" didn't belong here. That if I didn't go back then they would kill me. Every day getting worse and worse verbal threats from these people that I had done nothing to. Twice I had planned to kill myself. Twice I was "saved" when I heard a song, a stupid song, from a band that I like. I learned from these two songs that I shouldn't care what other people thought of me, and what will happen will happen whether I'm happy or sad. There were things to wake up for (quote from the song.
I tried not letting other people get to me, always smiling and being nice and helpful to others, but inside it still did. I no longer wanted to kill myself, but I started playing videos games and eating to solve my problems. I'd always been a sort of husky guy, but when I started doing this and I got on a scale I was shocked and ashamed to find that I weighed 305 lbs. I couldn't stop eating. It was a habit, one that was hard to break. I stopped weighing myself for fear of seeing a number higher than that.
I graduated with average grades. I was getting all As on tests, even finishing a final exam in 12 minutes with a 97% on it. But because I wouldn't do my homework I got an average of a 2.8 GPA. Ended up getting a job at McDonald's. Had it for 5 years then got fired back in April. Shenanigans. Been trying to find a job ever since with no luck. On Halloween of this year I went to a friend's house to see if his mom could help with the job hunt and saw that they had a scale in their kitchen and figured "what the hell". Stepped on it and to my surprise I weighed 220 lbs. I was ecstatic. I'd been so ashamed of my body and now here I was almost 100 pounds lighter than I thought I was. The look on my face was of pure astonishment. I couldn't believe it. Almost instantaneously a smile formed on my face and I suddenly started looking at the world in a positive light. My confidence shot through the roof. From that point on, I was happy.
I'm no longer the sad boy I used to be. Now I am positive and have high hopes for the future. Someday things will get better for me. Someday I'll be able to accomplish the goals that I want to do. Someday, I will be the person I always thought I could be. And I will be happy.